what stars are made of

Ezrah, This is ridiculous. I miss you, and it goes without saying that Jude does too. I think he’s going a little mad, in fact. I went over to his place again today. He’s not doing any better, really. He drank two cups of coffee in an hour, and it took him twenty-seven minutes of me being there to just to say something. I know because I had nothing else to do but stare at the ticking clock. I think you should write to him. I love receiving your letters every week, Ezrah, but I think we both know that Jude needs them more. This has gone on long enough already. I ended up staying the night with him. He barely spoke, but at one point, he turned to me with this weird look on his face and said, “I was thinking I should visit him, but I wouldn’t know what to say.” I told him that if he did visit you, I would go with him and we could figure it all out together. He said he would think about it, but sort of withdrew into himself again after that. Here’s the thing, Ezrah, and I thin

In the aftermath of it all, When your hands have turned to dust, The words are said, the verdict's out Shiny metal to sharpened rust. The days come and go by, then, Relentless, choppy, a cloudy dark The candles are lit, a faint yellow Hot wax on your skin, it breaks apart. And you still wake in the mornings now But it's never like before Curtains down, wind blowing up a storm Only nothingness to adore. Afternoon comes, and the sunlight falls Right into your eyes And it moves to better places, then And one more piece of you dies. There's just something about the way you write, they claim In a way that chokes you up with dread Your hands begin to disappear The world fades to a glowing red. And this time the words are left untouched, In a corner of the room that no one can see And no good comes of that either For they haunt your blood, and every dream. And the glass bottle, half-empty now Is pushed away under your bed I never liked that ending

Here comes the snow The wind softens to a breeze You breathe out a sigh Fall against me with ease The blizzard begins to stick to the trees You grab my hand, “Let's get out of here and freeze.” Was the universe created at midnight, you ask Sometimes, staying in love with you feels like a task Here, with your cold hand in mine, is not one of those times Come a little closer for warmth, hand me the flask. And you love with your eyes firmly shut, In too deep, too far gone already, It's a wonder you come out unscathed, uncut Still warm and happy, so steady. And I grow used to your walk, To the dimples on your face Grow used to having you around On my best and worst days And how you hold me closer with your hands and your gaze Your hair after a shower, your enthusiastic ways. They find your car in shambles, on the long, winded road Said you couldn't handle how much it had snowed Wrist twisted at an angle, the blood didn't flow Body freezing, hair